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Day 1
Travelling

Here's the thing, I thought it would be a great idea to arrange a surprise cruise for Leon's 50th birthday so back in January 2022 I started planning and booking the cruise. I had a fair idea that because I had over a year before the cruise happened I would at some point let the cat out of the bag. To be fair to myself I did very well and kept the cruise a secret until February 2023 so I'm going to award myself 10 star points for this!
However what wasn't thought out well is the fact that actually we would be travelling on Good Friday and it's the Easter holidays :(
So this morning starts with Good Morning Britian advising us that 17 million people would be travelling around the UK today (I find this most inconsiderate of them) and that the roads would be mayhem.
We set off at 11.15am for our 3.5 hour drive, we pass the A11 road works and things are looking good that is until we meet the junction where you turn off to the A14/M11, I don't know why but Leon always misses this turn off and as we leisurely cruise past I say to Leon 'isn't that our turning?' yep, yep it was....
Anyway that isn't the end of the world and the sat nav re-routes us. Now because we are in a different car and we aren't used to the this sat nav we (ahem, Leon) struggles with what the sat nat is telling us, we end up making a few more wrong turns.... needless to say what was a 3.5 hour drive turned into a 5.5 hour journey and I'm pretty sure that along the way we came across each and everyone one of the other 17 million people travelling today
We reach Southampton and book into the hotel then head out to find something to eat, while watching Love Island I saw these amazing looking kebabs from the shows sponsers. They are called Gourmet german kebabs so we researched them and saw we couldn't get them in Norwich but we could in Southampton so it's our mission to find these! We do find them and we do eat them, turns out they are actually quite nice.
Back in the hotel Dexter is way to wired to go to sleep, hes very excited about going on the big boat tomorrow. Thankfully Dexter is a very good traveller and deals with long car journeys so well. We did hear 'are we nearly there yet' quite a few times though! including one before we had even got out of our road.
He also told us that we are going to a harbour to get on our boat I have no idea where this boy gets all his knowledge from because it certainly isn't from Leon or me. We have a taxi picking us up at 10am in the morning to take us to the 'harbour'

Day 2
Southampton

Ship ahoy me land lubbers! Today we are embarking the Iona. We wake up and are in no rush this morning so we pop downstairs in the hotel have some breakfast and then finish packing up. Yesterday we thought the taxi time of 10am was a bit early well today we found out it was too early, we hang around the port for about 20 minutes waiting for the luggage check in to open, Dexter is very upset that his suitcase has to go on a conveyor belt and through a tunnel - this turns into a complete nightmare once the luggage check in opens as Dexter has a full meltdown demanding we get his suitcase back while crying, kicking and slapping me!
Once he has calmed down and we enter the terminal to check-in we have to wait again until we can board the boat, thankfully though we are VIPS so this means we have a different area to wait in (whoopie), we do pass security and check-in before other people so actually we did get on the boat quite quickly.
Once on board Leon decides he would like to get off! well actually he forget to pack his dinner jacket so we need to head back into Southampton city centre to get another, getting off the boat is mission as they didn't want to let us off but with some small white lies saying that we needed to leave to visit a pharmacy we managed it.
We grab a taxi and head back to the city and a shopping mall we found yesterday, time for Dexter to have another meltdown this time he had seen something in a shop we passed and REALLY needed it - a drone! Because when you go on a cruise your really need a drone right??!! Drone got and we are off looking for a dinner jacket again. Did I mention that Leon also forgot to bring Dexters pushchair? No, I didn't, but he did so we are also looking for a pushchair. We didn't manage to get a pushchair but we did get a dinner jacket. Leon says to me it's 2pm and we have to be back on the boat for 4pm and for a moment I thought 'oh thats ok we have some time before heading back' but then something didn't seem right I'm sure its later than that and look at my watch - it's 3pm Leon hasn't put the summer hour on his watch. We make our way back to boat and re-embark with drone and dinner jacket and head back to our cabin. As we watch the safety message on the TV I notice one of the restricted items not allowed on the ship are DRONES!
Let me tell you about our cabin - so we have a suite which is bigger and better than a standard cabin, our suite has a separate toilet and bathroom area with three sinks!! I mean honestly who needs three sinks! We have 2 telephones and massive TV, 3 wardrobes and a butler, yes thats right a butler! His name is Michael and he calls regularly to check we are ok, he books me a massage and basically does as we ask - I quite like Michael, I ask him to do something and he does it no moaning or answering back unlike Leon and Dexter.
Our evening goes well, we found a nice restaurant to eat in and Dexter actually ate his dinner which is nice, after dinner we went to the indoor swimming pool where there was a show happening, I can only describe the show some weird space mission with arcobats, unfortunately there was a technical issue and about 10 minutes before the show was due to end they had to stop - Dexter was gutted as for some reason he was loving this weird ass show!
Night night everyone....

Day 3
At sea

Sunday 9th April is a very special day, not only is it Easter Sunday but it's Leon's birthday and just incase I haven't mentioned it he is 50! The morning starts with the normal ceremony of opening cards and presents in bed and then I decorate our suite with birthday banners and balloons. Leon says a very big thank you to everyone for his cards, presents and money.
We don't bother with breafast today because to be honest we are still stuffed from the amount of food we consumed yesterday. We get ready and head out for the day, Dexter is going to kiddie club and I'm off to the spa for a massage. Dexter is very excited about going to kiddie club and we queue up to get in, this excitement fades and turns into tears and a meltdown once he finds out we won't be staying with him :( As Leon has some spare time I give him the job of hiding the Easter egg hunt around our cabin.
Next I'm off to the spa for my massage and oh man I need this.
When it's finished the lady leaves me to get dressed and when she returns advises me my husband is waiting at the kiddies club for me - it's time to pick up Dexter. He settled into the club well and made an Easter card this morning. While Dexter and me were busy this morning Leon was left to amuse himself and decided to go to the casino now I'm not saying Leon is old or anything but he managed to leave his pay card in the slot machine! Thankfully when we return the card is still in the machine.
After lunch Dexter heads back to the kiddie club which he is still unsure of being left there alone but soon settles in again and makes Daddy a birthday card this afternoon. Leon and me head off to the casino for a little bit of slot action.
We pick Dexter up early from the club as there is a Easter egg hunt around the ship for the kids. Luckily while waiting to get the first clue we over hear the third clue and head there to get the next one, after finding a couple of the clues ourselves we see a couple of girls who are also hunting eggs and decided to covertly follow them, they lead us to the last few clues and Dexter gets his Easter egg. We go back to cabin and find the surprises I had ordered for leon's birthday, a cake, a chocolate smash cake filled with sweets and canpies - We still aren't hungry and bearly touch these.
Tonight we are booked into one of the fancy pants resturants and Dexters is off to the kiddie club again for the evening. It's a formal night so time to don our gladrags, while getting ready to go our Dexter has falling asleep so by the time we get him back at the club he is grumpy and yep you guessed it has another meltdown.
Once at the fancy pants resturant calm has been restored and we settle in with a bottle of champagne, all is going well until Leon offers me a taste of his starter and as he passes it to me green slop lands on my dress, I managed to get it all off but its not long until I feel a splat on my forehead and arm, this time the lady on the next table had put her folk into a tomato and it had splatted me! She was very sorry but these things can't be helped hey.
This evenings entertainment for Leon and me is the casino as we are kiddie free and we mostly spend the night playing three card poker. Just before 11pm we pick up Dexter who is still awake watching movies (Toy story), on the way back to the cabin we find some entertainment of 3 girls singing we stop to watch for a while and then head home.
Here's a couple of updates I forgot from yesterday -
Leon told me that because we haven't had to travel to the cruise on our first day he wants us to look smart when boarding the cruise as you have a photo taken when you first enter. There we are Leon, me and Dexter dressed up to the hilt boarding the boat surrounded by people in jeans, jogging bottoms and casual wear only to find out they no longer take arrival photos anymore! LOL.
The Captian has informed us because of bad weather he is changing of route and won't be making our first stop so we now have 2 days at sea - thats why you have waited so long for these updates.

Seasickness report - None found

Day 4
At Sea - 10th April

With our unexpected day at sea we start off the day with a dip in the pool, well Leon and Dexter do I don't actually fancy it myself.
The weather has got cold and wet the captain tells us there is a wind speed of 60 mph - this is why we have had to stay out at sea rather then docking. The captain has taken a slow pace up to Norway since finding out about the weather and this morning we were floating around near Scotland.
For lunch we found the 'boardwalk' which is a row of 3 different resturants offering fish and chips, Asian or burgers it has a very street food vibe about it and the food here is actually quite nice. So far we haven't been that impressed with the food on this cruise and definately had better on other cruises.
Dexter is back off at kiddies club again this afternoon so we drop him off and again he isn't that happy about going in and has a mini melt down.
Leon and me head off to the casino to join the black jack tourmement but when we get there we find out that Leon has read the wrong time and we have missed the registertration :(
We then decide to have a look around the shops instead and see if we can find some wedding rings, with the cheapest rings being around ££££ that isn't an option.
We go back and scoop up Squiddy out of kiddie club early because to be honest we miss him.
After dinner its back to kiddie club for Dexter and the casino for us, I even think its a good idea for a pina colada tonight, well I am on holiday right!?
When we go back to pick up Squiddy we find him laid out on one of the ladies asleep and shes stroking his hair, too cute. After all the fuss he has made about going in I think they actually quite like him apart from the vey loud snoring they remarked about! Leon starts to carry him back to our suite but he wakes up and wants to go watch a show! Thankfully there isn't any along our way home but he is fully awake now and is hyper when we get home throwing cushions around and generally do Dexter stuff.
Its night, night now from Leon, me and Dexter.

Seasickness report - The ocean is very rough today and there has been stages where I have felt a bit off. Generally though none found :)

Day 5
Olden 11th April

Hey you guys it's your favourite travelling family back again.
This morning we woke around 7am and looked out the window finally we see land and what beautiful land it is, we are cruising through Nordfjords which are a collection of snowcapped mountains with unspolit nature and clear ocean waters, a bit like the Norfolk broads but on a much bigger and grander scale.
We are off to a place called Loen where there is a skylift (cable car) which will take us up a mountain.
This morning for the first time we are going to have breakfast, we have a separate restaurant for suite customers and head off there, it's quite nice as its waiter served food and a fancy pants menu.
After breakfast we make our way off the boat but what we didn't expect was we would need to queue and what a queue it was! When we finally got off the boat we needed to find a tour which would take us to the skylift, it seems everybody else had this thought too so we joined a queue! I came out of our queue as we thought we were in the wrong queue and then found out it was actually the right queue and it had got even bigger! Lucky enough though we were able to sneak in the queue really close to the begining, tickets bought and we are off to find the bus to get on BUT theres a queue!! We wait about 40 minutes before its our turn to get on the bus.
Once at Loen we enter the skylift place and climb the stairs to the cable car and guess what we find a queue - I think you're understanding today was mostly about queuing.
The cable car takes roughtly 45 people at a time so this time the queues aren't as bad.
At the top of the mountain the views are amazing as we look out across the fjords, theres plenty of snow and in exposed places its extremely windy theres even an igloo for us to go in.
At this point it's probably worth mentioning that Dexter has moaned all day long, especially about having to queue and how windy it is on the montain - At times it hasn't been the easiest day but being surrounded by all this beauty has made it bearable.
When we arrive back at the boat we take a look around an local shop where Dexter gets a viking hat and sword, we go in the shop to pay for them and guess what? Theres a queue! A massive one snaking all the way around the shop.
We stop off at a cafe and have a hot chocolate and waffles so I can use their wifi.
This evening we have a quick dinner at the boardwalk before going to the theatre to watch a show. Tonight it's electra 2 ladies playing violins they have been on Britains got talent, Dexter is absolutely engrossed by them.
I'm keeping an eye out to see if we can see the Northen lights while we are here.

Still no seasickness. Weather has been chilly but clear.

Day 6
Alesund

Our morning starts off of course by going to the fancy pants breakfast, now Leon has had a taste of this no self service breakfast will do.
Our plan for today is to go to the sea park basically it's a sealife center, we leave the boat and look for a way of getting there, we try the hop on hop off bus, taxis and sightseeing tours but these are all quite expensive so in the end we decide that the sea park isn't really worth it.
We head into Alesund town instead to see what's around, it's a nice town with shops and businesses but to be fair Alesund doesn't have alot to do, in the end we find a coffee shop and make a stop in there.
While walking about Dexter says to us "Can I go back to the boat and go to kiddie club!" We have got to the stage where mum and dad aren't cool and he doesn't want to spend time with us :(
While in the lift going up to kiddie club the lift stops and a man walks in, Dexter pipes up "mummy that man is super fat" - oh god will the earth just swallow me up, my little guy has no filter.
So Dexter is in kiddie club, the casino is close (because we are in port) there's only one thing for Leon and me to do grab a bucket of beer and go to a hot tub, on this boat it's quite nice that they have lots of hot tubs just randomly about. We don our P&O dressing gowns and slippers which suite cabins have and go to the hot tub. We find one on our deck which is in the sun looking out across the snow capped montains, this is perfect. We are joined by a family from portsmouth and spend our afternoon chatting with them which is lovely - who wants to go to the seapark anyway.
It's time to go and get squiddy back but there's only enough time to feed him and take him to kiddie club for the evening.
We go to the casino but no good work is done in there apart from we both won tickets for the £5000 bingo on the last day of the cruise.
Dexter seems to think the butler is there for anything and everything he wants, he said today he would like to eat his food in the cabin so we told him there isn't food in the cabin, Dexter replied "that's ok just call Michael to bring me some!!"
Dexter also poured Leon's Apple and Blackcurrent squash away (by accident) and then said "Michael will get us some more" Little bugger!

Thats about it from me today. Laters everyone xxx

Day 7
Stavanger

*Early Edition* I'm writing this early afternoon while in port so I can update the website - this is only the first part of the day.

So here's some things I've missed out of the updates - Since turning 50 Leon has lost all sense of direction (he never really had much before but he'll never admit that and now he seems happy to blame his age). While out yesterday for our stroll we wanted to return to the boat and Leon was VERY insistent that I was going the wrong way, I told him I could see the top of boat from where we were standing but he wouldn't have it, he walks round the corner where he thinks the boat is while Dexter and me wait then he comes back and we continue in the direction we were going... He also confuses the front and back of the boat alot.

We have no real plans for today as we thought we were going troll hunting but it turns out that was at the last port and we have missed it. This port has alot more going on than the others so we thought we'll get off and have a good look around, there is a Starbucks here so that's our first mission as I would like to get a cup to add to my collection.
Starbucks is really easy to find and we settle in for a coffee, its at this point Dexter says he wants to go back to the cruise and starts his daily moan - he really hates leaving the boat! We manage to convince him to have a look at a market stall on the way back where he buys some finger puppets of red riding hood, a pig and a big bad wolf.
Before heading out this morning we instruct Michael to book us a restaurant for this evening and book Squiddy into kiddies club.
Back on the boat Dexter puts on a show for us with his new finger puppets and does some FaceTiming.
It's time for kiddies club and before Dexter leaves he tells us if we need some toys to play with while he is gone we can go in his trunki and get some, if we use his fingers puppets we must not lose them!
After we drop him off we go to the pool area where they make pizzas and grab some and take them back to our suite where we have a lazy afternoon of pizza and films.

We will be starting our journey back to Southampton tonight and I probably won't have anymore wifi so further updates may take a while before they appear.

*Late edition*
Just before Dexter goes off to Kiddies club he gets VERY upset, he likes to play with the safe (which he calls a saver) and has somehow managed to set up a lock code and locked the door shut, we ask him what the code is and of course he has no idea! In our safe (saver) Dexter has stored some very important things like Easter eggs, sweets and treats. I take Dexter off to the kiddie club and Leon calls maintence, they come open the safe for us and give Leon some very strange looks when they see what we have stored in our safe.
It's time to go and pick up Dexter, when we get there we always like to have a look through the window to try and get a sneak peak at what he is up to, when we look through this time we spot him straight away cuddled up with one of the ladies! It's off to the buffet with Dexter as they do a Childrens tea party each day as there's only an hour before he need to be back for his evening session.
Leon has been suffering a bit with a sore throat today so isn't all that interested in going for dinner this evening, we pop back to the buffet for a little bite to eat and then somehow manage to find ourselves back in the casino. At 10.45pm we go to pick up Dexter who is fast asleep again, I think the ladies at kiddie club have really fallen for him because they said to us they wish all the kids where like him and he is a real credit to us!

Weather has been quite chilly and cloudy today - We have actually been lucky with the weather apart from the beginning of the week where we were stuck out at sea.

We have a one hour time difference from the UK.

We have started our journey along the North Sea back to England and tomorrow is our last day of holiday :(

Day 8
At Sea

And now the time has come for us return to the UK it's our last day on the boat baby. We want to ensure Dexter has had the best time and decide to take him to the cinema, theres a kiddie film on called Ron's gone wrong so we pop along to the 10.30am showing. There a few screens with different films showing all day long, the cinemas aren't massive they probably hold about 50 people each. We get in and sit down and I said to Leon and Dexter I would go get us some popcorn and head back to the door, now remember it's dark inside a cinema... I grab the door handle and pull but the door won't move so I push and the door still won't move, I put more effort into this time and pull the handle down pushing and pulling at the door but it still won't move! I admit defeat and shout out "help, I can't get out" to which someone shouted back "try the other door!" I do try the other door and it opens quite easily actually.... Leon is cracking himself up and I'm just glad that it is dark in the cinema and no one can see how red faced I am.
When I get out the popcorn machine isn't working and I walk back in with my head held high and with no popcorn :(
We settle down to watch the film and Dexter climbs onto Leon for a snuggle the next thing we know is he is snoring his little head off! Sometimes I do wonder why I bother :)
After lunch Dexter goes off to kiddie club and Leon and me pack our suitcases up as they have to be outside our room at 2pm.
I've booked myself into the spa this afternoon to have my gel nails removed as they are awful and have a nice red polish done instead.
After dinner Squiddy is off for his last session at kiddie club this evening which he isn't happy about and we pop over to the casino.
We are now all in bed to get a good nights sleep ready for our journey home tomorrow.
We hope you have enjoyed reading about our travels and see will see you soon.
xxx

WE ARE GOING

ON AN ADVENTURE

Norway

8th April 2023

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